Showdown at da club: Part 2

When we last left the Goths they were being harassed into dramatic fainting by Postpunker, who had lost utterly lost his sense of humour. We rejoin them at the patio outside The Club where Postpunker is still rampaging, while Batcave has run inside for help.

Postpunker:

Who else can I destroy? You! Rivethead! A Nine Inch Nails shirt, really?

Rivethead:

Nothing is wrong with Nine Inch Nails. Trent Reznor is a genius, and you KNOW I listen to a lot more than just the one band on my shirt.

Postpunker:

Ha ha! But you see, my wannabe-purist, Nine Inch Nails is NOT industrial! More like Industrial-influenced ALTERNATIVE ROCK! Buahaha! Let's look at the patches on your jacket, shall we? Oh, Rammstein? I liked it the first time when it had more irony and artistic merit and was called LAIBACH! Have you even HEARD of Throbbing Gristle?! Why don't you just go Listen to Lincoln Park!

Rivethead:

Eh... no way... blaaahhhh-fuckyouall-eghk! /faints/

Perky:

Oh my sparkles! I think it just you and me, Cyber. <:(

Cyber:

Get behind me, Perky I think I can take him.

Postpunker:

Oh, no no no. I do love your noble gesture- a sweet note to go out on- but I'm saving YOU for last. I can hardly wait! I'll go through every Goth in this place until NO ONE has ANY fun ANY more! Mua ha ha! Now, you! Merry Sunshine in the Emily Autumn shirt-

Batcave:

Caw! Caw! Caw!

Postpunker:

Get out of here, Batcave. I don't want to destroy you too.

Batcave:

Ah Ah ahah-oh-ahah! Hiss!

Postpunker:

What? Who have your brought with you? No matter. No one could possibly know more about music than me!

ThePersonWhoKnowsMoreAboutMusic:

Except me!

Postpunker:

My dead god! Who are you?! Some enchantress?

Cyber:

Of course! Why didn't I think of it! She's **the DJ**!

Perky:

Oooooooooo, **The DJ**!

TheDJ:

Yes, it is I, come out to stop his bitchery-run-amok, and to take my smoke break. Does anyone have a light, btw?

Cyber:

Yes! Take them all! Huh huhhuh. You're cool.

TheDJ:

Um, thanks. Look, Ian, I'm even older than you. I know it's hard to see things change. It's easy to hate the teenagers who took your scene over because - they're teenagers. A lot of them are probably doing things "wrong" because it's a phase they're going through. That's part of growing up, and you did it too. Other kids are pushing things in new creative directions, and some of those kids will stay in the scene, and if you actually get to know them, they can remind you how much fun and love YOU used to have in your heart. It's fine to complain, as long as you have a sense of humour about the scene, and yourself.

Postpunker:

No. It's too late for me. I have to finish what I started. I'm too far gone for you to stop me.

TheDJ:

So be it. Ian, CBGB's is closed, Johnny Rotten, and Iggy Pop have done commercials for butter and insurance respectively, David Byrne sang with Homer Simpson, and Andrew Eldritch hates you. Like YOU, personally.

Andrew Eldritch:

I can't believe you love This Corrosion, it's soooo over played. Why not just listen to Evanescence? Please kill yourself, for both our sakes.

Postpunker:

Oh, my tiny heart! Curse you, Eld-wretch! You win. I'm done for! I'll just go jump off the roof now.

TheDJ:

No, no. Here- take this gift from me and I think you'll find your broken heart nicely mended, my child. Now quit fucking around and get off the floor guys. It's closing time. ::lights turn on::

Postpunker:

What is this? Oh... I... I can't believe it. Oh, thank you.

Eldergoth:

We're suddenly miraculously revived! Who was that goddess?

Perky:

It was **The DJ**!

All:

Oooooo, **The DJ**!

Bouncer:

Seriously y'all got to get the fuck out of here.

Eldergoth:

/standing up with others/ You feel better, Ian?

Postpunker:

Yeah, completely. I'm sorry I was such a dick. It's all over now, I promise.

Eldergoth:

What did she give you that fixed everything? A drug, a spell, money, vampire blood?

Victorian:

What? Where?!

Postpunker:

No. Look. It's a mix tape. A real mix tape. Just for me. It has all my favourite songs; the track list is handwritten on the back. She titled it, "Just turn on with me, and you're not alone."

Eldergoth:

Aww, mixtape! <3

Bouncer:

Yeah, aw. NOW GET OUT OR I'M CALLING THE COPS!